Anger Issues

I will admit it:

I am an angry killjoy.

I like to talk about bad things that are happening in the world. I like to question the ethics of the media, the government and consumerism. I like to question everything, especially my own opinions and where I have gotten them from. I like to question whether something that I enjoy is good for the world. I like supporting left wing politics, sometimes extreme ones.

I don't like jokes which are perpetuating harmful mindsets. I don't like shaving my underarms or legs. I don't think money or the economy should be the biggest priority in the world.

For that, I am an angry, immature killjoy.

And aside from being angry about that, I like to sit in my room, at my computer, and allow myself an ironic, angry smile. Sometimes not even ironic. Because people are terrible, and the world is terrible, but I know for certain that there are people out there in search of the truth.

For a while now I've been trying to write a blogpost about this article by Christopher Hitchins. It's an older one, but I only read it a couple of weeks ago, after one of my housemates pointed it out to me.

To me, this article is obviously redundant. Its arguments are very weak, it mostly refers to the author's personal opinions which are not in any way universal, and it should be considered offensive by most progressive people by now.

However, I've had this conversation with people before - with people, who, however much they consider themselves not to be sexist, think that there is somehow a valid, objective argument to be found in saying that women are generically, overall, under-the-one-umbrella less funny than men.

I was going to use this space to go through all my arguments in a meticulous manner. But I can't be bothered.

Let me get one thing straight -

You CANNOT argue that women are less funny than men. If you do, you are discriminating against women, because you are saying that half of everyone in the whole world are not as good at something as the other half are, based on their gender. That is discrimination. You are sexist.

I DO NOT care how many female comedians you can name, how many you find funny, and how many male ones there are in comparison. I do not care if you acknowledge that there is the possibility for the 'funniest woman' to be as funny as the 'funniest man', but you think that overall women aren't as funny - You are sexist.

I also do not care if you think being funny is an objective thing, because it clearly isn't. You are an idiot, and sexist.

And if you want to stop being called sexist, then you need to stop being sexist.

Since when did being offensive become edgy?

I would also like to say that I am sick of people ignoring what I say on the grounds that 'we can't censor anyone, that would make everything boring.' You know what? I am not trying to censor anyone - in fact, I'd much rather people were completely honest so we know who the douchbags are. I am trying to teach people that they should open their minds a little, and see things from someone else's perspective. I am trying to tell them that although they've always had that opinion, maybe they should give it another think - because they haven't thought about where they've gotten it from. And if they do, and they still think the same thing - I will try and teach them again.

Because the world is not right at the moment, and we all need to do tiny things to improve it.

The Zoo.

Today I went to the zoo because my poetry class required me to, also I like the zoo. It's a strange kind of like though; I love animals and I love seeing them irl, but there's also the whole enclosures thing. And then I love that the zoo is helping keep endangered species alive, but I hate that we made them endangered in the first place. I had to write a poem about an animal, based on Ted Hughes and stuff, but I actually just ended up writing one about zoos. Anyway, here is my zoo outfit:

I cut my head out of the first one because it was seriously deranged. I've been looking at a lot of japanese street blogs recently (and forever) so it was kind of inspired by them. You can't really see my sequin shoes but they are sparkly in real life. And I'm really feeling the whole chunky jewelry thing atm.

So anyway, the main thing I was thinking at the zoo was do these animals feel like their life has a purpose? I mean, I know they don't specifically think about those things in that way, but do they somehow feel the meaninglessness? Because if I was an animal, I think I would feel satisfied with hunting, sleeping, exploring and having babies. So if you take away everything except sleeping (and having babies when the zookeepers allow I guess, but there aren't many options, what if you don't fancy any of the animals in your pen? And there are never any others EVER?) do they feel restless and bored, and directionless? Is this just me projecting my life onto animals?

I just looked at them, and they were all either pacing around or sleeping. It makes me feel like they somehow knew that their life was comfortable but boring. And I feel like they'd rather be able to hunt if it meant there was a chance they might starve.

And then I thought, what does this mean for humans? I mean, we've pretty much done the same thing to ourselves. We live in a comfortable but ultimately pointless existence. We don't get to hunt or forage, or build a lot of the time. If we've provided all the necessary shelter and food for ourselves (I'm talking first world here of course, but that's a whole 'nother issue) then are we just left with an empty bored feeling? That everybody experiences, but because they're told that they should be satisfied with what they have, are just confused?

Here's the first draft of the poem, which of course, having been explained in the above rant, seems clumsy and redundant, BUT still:

The seahorse and the lion

drift, propelled by buzzing petals,

pacing grids, heavy skinned,

float to stop and graceful grip

while the keepers mow the lawn.

Tiny black jelly orbs stare

and restless, deprived of the hunt,

sleep like blue translucent leaves.

Bored and majestic.

When day and night merge flatly,

and once enclosure has been explored,

the cerulean depths found solid

and no antelope appear –

What then?

Oh and p.s. meercats are amazing.

Outfit: tiger jumper, Topshop; key necklace, Tiffany; denim vest, second hand; dress, second hand; socks, American Apparel; shoes, some cheap shoe shop

Meowwww

Finally got around to finishing my zine today, because I'm totally motivated and stuff (read: assignments due.) So now the thing is to figure out how I can afford to make at least ten more copies to send to Sticky! Ergh money etc. For now there is one finished copy, sans welcome note because I'm not sure what to write in there yet. It's called Realistic Motivational Notes From Cats. The concept came to me a while ago when I was thinking there's a lot of things it'd be nice to be reminded of more often. Little internal things that stifle motivation and creativity, or just general self esteem. So I decided I would make a zine in which some of these things were written, so that the reader could cut out the pages that they needed the most and stick them around their room, or carry them around, or whatever.

And then I thought... It'd be funnier if the notes were from cats. Hence:

Courtesy of my crappy, crappy digital camera. It runs on two AA batteries. Not quite retro, sadly.

If anyone wants a copy, send me an email at shell.shock.radio@gmail.com. I don't know how much I will be selling them for yet, but once I've worked out the costs, it shouldn't be too much. :)

Oh, and it was typed on my Woodstock 5N.

That is all.

Life on Mars?

My name is Becky and today I decided that a) I would start my blog, and b) I don't actually hate Zooey Deschanel.

In regards to a), i'd like to say:
Hi, welcome to my new blog. I've had a couple of blogs before, but always just writing, and always obscure teenage angst posts or short stories. While I may not be a teenager anymore, I am certainly still filled with angst and hopefully still filled with short stories. I've come to the conclusion that blogs are only interesting when you get to see pictures of the blogger and get a feel for their personality, and I also noticed that the internet has a shortage of fashion bloggers. (HAHA HA ha...ha..*slap*) So you're going to see pictures of me wearing clothes.

But clothes are not all I am interested in, dear readers! (I know using the plural is a bit hopeful at this stage, but optimism is fun sometimes!) (p.s. hi housemates.)
I also like reading books, playing in bands, and playing computer games. Maybe you'll get to hear a little bit about those interests too. I like theorising about the universe, and about people, and all that stuff. You do too? Kewl. Let's be friends.

And so to start it off, here's a .gif of the clothes I was wearing today. Which leads me directly into b).




Zooey Deschanel. Ahh. Ever since watching Tin Man like four years ago, the sci-fi channel's remake of the Wizard of Oz, I think I've been very harsh on her. It's true, I liked her sarcastic stoner voice and her baggy pants. But I started to get annoyed, because she was much smaller, cuter, deadpan-er and generally cooler than me. Then, a couple of years and movies later, she started She and Him. That Reeeaally grated on me. Her cute little skirts? Her vintage charm? Ukulele playing?!?! RAAARRR *Turns into godzilla*

And then yesterday, I read Rookiemag. A site intended for teenage girls. Well you know what? I think that every non-teenager needs to admit that they can still learn stuff they should've learnt a long time ago, if they stop being so stubborn. Although I've known about girl-hate for a while, it's taken me this long to notice that my hate of Zooey Desch wasn't actually to do with some sort of inherent aversion to kitsch, or of cheesy hipster music, but it was actually just plain old girl-hate. I wanted to be the sarcastic one! I wanted to be the small, cute one! And then I read her little article on the site, telling about her experiences of high school, and I knew somehow that she wasn't putting the cute thing on to be cool, or to be part of some sort of scene. I realised she was just actually like that.

So after mulling it over last night, my outfit today was inspired by the NOWNESS + Rodarte film with Elle Fanning in it, and also all the new Rodarte for OC, because of the side swiped hair with a clip thing. And the rest was a homage to Zooey.

Outfit; shoes: second hand, tights: Vroom & Dreesmann, skirt: second hand, top: Mango, hair clip: from when I was about eleven, David Bowie necklace: made by Oscar Casley.